Fic for lilly0! (part 1)

[hosummer_mod]

To: lilly0, continued in part 2
Title: Entwined Hearts
Pairing/Group: Ohno Satoshi/Matsumoto Jun/Sakurai Sho
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: explicit sex scenes, BDSM, sex toys, barebacking
Word Count: 23,000++
Summary: Jun is happy with Satoshi and they have a great understanding in their relationship. But when Sho came into Jun’s life, Jun wonders in which direction the relationship is going.
Notes: Dear Lilly0, despite the terrible summary I hope this is okay with you. This is mostly smut with little plot. Please note that there is no cheating involved. Everything is consensual (and as requested, Jun as the sub in the relationship)
To the mod and beta, all the love to you. This fic is ten times better with your help.


“I’m Matsumoto Jun,” Jun introduced himself. He gave the man a respectful bow, his hands stretched out to offer the man his name card. They were both alone inside the private office, the blinds were down and the door was closed, giving them a complete privacy.

“I’m looking forward to our cooperation,” Jun added later.

The man Jun was meeting was Sakurai Sho, the current CEO of the cosmetic company, Heaven Cosmetics, as well as the heir to the said company. Jun’s company, which was an advertising agency, would be working hand in hand with Heaven in promoting the company’s latest product. Jun was sent by his management to work alongside Heaven’s Marketing Department until the launch of the product which was schedule for a spring launch, in three months’ time. Jun had a busy time ahead.

Sakurai reached for Jun’s name card, pausing when their hands brushed each other. Jun looked up when the touch felt deliberate. He was pretty surprised to find the man was giving him such a thorough, appraising look. Jun knew what that look meant. When Jun didn’t do anything to pull his hand away, Sakurai’s mouth formed a knowing smile like he had reached some sort of a conclusion in his mind.

“Me too,” Sakurai eventually said in a low voice, eyes not breaking the gaze. Jun couldn’t help from thinking that the words were intended as double entendre. A tingling heat teased his inside but Jun found that it wasn’t an uncomfortable one.

Jun had a good feelings about this project. Besides him being trusted by his management to lead the team and thus raising his profile further in the agency, he had the hunch that the project would run smoothly especially when their client’s CEO seemed to like him. The team success would be his personal success too.

Although he wouldn’t actually be working directly with the CEO, Jun was looking forward to the opportunity of meeting him more. Sakurai told him that Jun could approach him if Jun’s team needed additional support, stressing the word ‘cooperation’ Jun had used before. Jun couldn’t wait to find out what other ‘cooperation’ they would have besides what their companies had agreed upon; it seemed that the hot young CEO was thinking the same too judging by the intense gaze the CEO directed at him continuously as they talked further about the project.


~


Jun gave a moan as a mouth was making a wet trail on the side of his exposed neck and shoulder. Opening his eyes, he turned around, detaching himself away from the assailant. His eyes flicked to the alarm clock on the bedside table to find that it was only 6.30 A.M.

His voice cracked because it was too early. “Satoshi-kun, you’re home.” Jun eyed Satoshi who was wet after a shower, leaning on the bed with a white towel wrapped around his waist, his toned abs which Satoshi had been working on lately were exposed to Jun’s view. A few drops of water fell on Jun’s body, giving him a shiver.

“I’m home,” Satoshi said before he surged forward to find Jun’s inviting mouth. Feeling himself unnecessarily wetter, Jun hold Satoshi away, clicking his tongue in annoyance at the current state of his bedsheet. “Dry yourself properly,” Jun admonished. Not that he didn’t enjoy being with his boyfriend, wet or not, but he just didn’t like his expensive bedsheets and duvet to be wet. The drying process would be too troublesome for him to take care of in the morning.

Satoshi moved away, hastily unhooking the towel on his hips to run it all over his body for a quick drying. Folding the duvet away in preparation to what was coming, Jun observed the movement of Satoshi’s taut muscles and his eyes naturally gravitated towards the well-endowed cock that never fail to give him wondrous joy in all four years they had been together.

Jun wasn’t good with morning but he sometimes gave in to Satoshi because, well, it was Satoshi. The time that they could spend together was precious to Jun because Satoshi was often gone for work as a diving instructor and also with Satoshi frequently indulging in his hobby in deep-sea fishing which took them away from each other a few weeks at a time. With Jun working in the heart of Tokyo and Satoshi working outside of it, they couldn’t help themselves from being separated most of the time. They had acknowledged that the situation was hard for their relationship after a few months being together and Jun had admitted to Satoshi that he sometimes felt lonely. They tried to talk things through – mostly it was Jun who was doing the talking since Satoshi was a pretty quiet guy and Jun felt it was a waste to be confrontational towards him – and after weeks of sulking and miscommunication, they found a common ground in which Satoshi gave his permission that Jun could find enjoyment outside the relationship should Jun’s loneliness was too much to bear, with only two conditions; besides Jun having to be careful, Satoshi also made a strong point in his desire of not knowing with whom Jun wanted to share his loneliness with. This meant that whoever Jun was with wouldn’t change the nature of Jun’s relationship with Satoshi, which also meant that the only man Jun was supposed to love was Satoshi.

Jun was surprised that Satoshi chose that option among the many options they were considering. Perhaps, Satoshi was being understanding, letting Jun do whatever he wished, and it made Jun respect and love Satoshi even more. Before they were together as a couple they were childhood friends to begin with. Alongside Aiba Masaki, the three of them lives in the same neighbourhood, with Satoshi as the eldest among them and Jun the youngest. They never left each other’s side until they were forced to go separate ways due to each of them pursuing different education and careers when they were of age. Satoshi and Aiba had stayed in Shizuoka while Jun went to a college in Tokyo and stayed there after he finished his education. Jun was hired by his current agency, as part of its top creative team not long after that.

They met again at their school reunion and they continued contacting each other ever since. They went out drinking together, all three of them when time permitted, especially during public holidays, reminiscing about their times together at school and for Jun, telling them all about his sex life in carefree manner, without shame. Aiba and Satoshi had never told him off about his habit, but sometimes Jun felt their care towards him when Aiba in a roundabout manner advised Jun to be careful to not catch any diseases, and Satoshi silently passing condoms towards him under the table when Aiba wasn’t looking. Jun never thought that Satoshi harboured feelings towards him because in all those years they were friends, he never appeared to show any interest in him – besides being a good friend to him - and had never shown his jealousy when Jun told them about his sexual escapades openly. Jun even remembered how Satoshi was just patting Jun’s head, saying “Good for you” when Jun told Satoshi and Aiba the time he was losing his virginity to their senior who had been Satoshi’s classmate.

Jun had a few previous relationships that never lasted longer than a few months. Perhaps his failed relationships had contributed to him opting for casual affairs rather than a permanent one. Not that he didn’t want one but he just hadn’t found the right one yet. Until Satoshi convinced him otherwise.

Their relationship began when Satoshi invited him to fish together, just the two of them besides the captain of the boat Satoshi had rented. Jun disliked fishing very much and he was always complaining every time Satoshi managed to drag him to one of his many fishing trips but that day he didn’t want to disappoint Satoshi since it was Satoshi’s birthday. When Jun asked why he didn’t want to spend his birthday with the others, Satoshi only shrugged saying that he disliked celebration. Jun, knowing how Satoshi was, accepted his excuse without further complaint. Little did Jun know that it was intended as a date for them until Satoshi brought a bottle of champagne – which Jun thought was odd because normally Satoshi didn’t care for such things - and sat beside Jun on the deck when they were in the middle of the sea. Clinking their glasses together, gazing at the prettiest sunset Jun had seen while being on sea, Satoshi gave Jun’s cheek a little peck. Surprised by the sudden affectionate gesture, Jun stared at Satoshi, searching the meaning of Satoshi’s action in his eyes. Calmly, Satoshi put his palm on Jun’s chest.

“Would you let me inside here?” Satoshi said, pressing his hand on Jun’s heart.

Until now Jun felt that it was the most romantic confession he had ever gotten in his life and he said his yes after Jun found himself being pounded on his behind by Satoshi in the small cabin inside the boat as the boat captain waited for them at the deck.

He let Satoshi creep into his heart and even until now he stayed there. In fact, the feelings went deeper as the time passed.

That was why sometimes Jun felt a little guilty if he opted for a one night stand or being involved in short relationships that never lasted more than a week, thinking that one day he would be flunking his relationship with Satoshi – even with the permission - and worrying that Satoshi would feel jealous without him realizing. Therefore, Jun didn’t dive into casual relationships lately. Perhaps it had come down to a few extra reasons too: with him feeling settled being in the relationship with Satoshi and him being so busy with so many projects that he hadn’t got time to be with someone else when Satoshi wasn’t able to accompany him. And also, the men he did find lately being annoying jerks was part of the reason Jun found himself not wanting to pursue any sex outside the relationship anymore. He just didn’t like dealing with troublesome attitudes.

He thought that it was enough playing around, that he was exclusively Satoshi’s. Until he got to know Sakurai Sho recently.



A mewl escaped Jun’s lips as Satoshi’s tongue sucked his erect nipple on the left side of his chest. Jun’s grip on Satoshi’s hair got tighter when Satoshi’s mouth travelled down to his navel and then to his half-hard cock. Without spending too much time on Jun’s cock, Satoshi went straight up again to kiss Jun. Jun could taste his pre-come as their tongues battled for dominance. Jun let out a gasp when he felt Satoshi’s lubed fingers began to breach his hole.

After enough preparation, Satoshi slid inside Jun and moved after Jun gave the indication that he was ready. Each thrust was slow but deep, Jun could feel Satoshi’s entire length stretching him, the burn of the stretch was immediately replaced by pleasure as Jun adjusted to the feeling. Jun hooked his legs on Satoshi’s hips, clinging to him as Satoshi’s hands wrapped around Jun’s abandoned cock and pumped it at the same rhythm as Satoshi’s thrusts. Jun spilled his come almost at the same time as Satoshi groaned, spilling his warm come inside Jun. The come trailed down the crack of Jun’s butt and seeped into the bed sheet when Satoshi pulled out, flopping his body beside Jun, both panting deeply.

Jun’s hand touched Satoshi’s hair that was now soaked with sweat instead. Satoshi turned to him grinning sleepily as Jun pushed away the strand of hair that covered his eyes. Satoshi’s hair had grown longer than the last time he saw him, Jun thought.

“Morning,” his boyfriend said to Jun before he closed his eyes and fell asleep, snoring almost immediately. Jun chuckled before he slowly got up and took a shower and right after that, helping to clean Satoshi up, who didn’t stir at all as he was tucked under the duvet by Jun.

An hour later, after making sure that he looked presentable to go to work, Jun gave Satoshi’s cheek a peck, whispering to him to eat the breakfast he left on the table before heading out to the take the morning train to his workplace.


~


The music wasn’t loud enough to drown out the conversations in the private room. It was just the two of them, holding their third shot of whiskey and they were starting to get tipsy.

“So, you already have a boyfriend?” Sakurai – or Sho as he would like Jun to call him – asked him calmly. To Jun’s amazement, he didn’t sound too surprised when Jun told him like Jun thought he would, as he often received shock reactions from others. This was the second time they went out drinking privately and Sho’s interest on him was so apparent Jun thought it was better to come clean to him. For what it’s worth, Sho should know that one important fact about him. It was also a good way for Jun to gauge the nature of their association by seeing Sho’s reaction to the revelation.

Sho chuckled good naturedly. “I’d be more surprised if you don’t have one, actually.” When Jun arched his eyebrows questioningly at him, Sho continued, “Someone like you doesn’t deserve to be alone.”

“Someone like me?” Jun asked, wondering what Sho meant by that. It piqued his interest, wanting to hear Sho’s argument about it. Not that he was expecting compliments directed at him, but he was curious about his thought of him especially when it came from a successful and intelligent person like Sho.

“You’re perfect…” Sho said, matter-of-factly. There was no sign of naughty teasing in his eyes, it was like Sho really believed what he said.

Jun was surprised that it wasn’t an elaborate analysis of him as a person like he had expected, but instead, Sho had used that lone adjective to describe him. Simple but heavy. “I’m not…” Jun countered but without any bite in his word, feeling a slow burn on his face not related to his alcohol he consumed. Usually he would be annoyed when people said that, like they were mocking him for being too particular and detailed, but when Sho said it, it felt like a slight compliment, although Jun wouldn’t tell him that.

Sho tilted his head, locking his eyes with Jun. “You don’t believe that?” Sho asked questioningly.

Jun took a small sip of his drink. “Well, usually that word doesn’t sit well with me.”

“Why?” Sho asked with genuine interest in his eyes.

“It feels conceited, don’t you think? To feel perfect? No one is perfect. Me included.”

Sho nodded, his lips pursed in thought. “Hmm, that’s true. Nobody is perfect.” Sho agreed easily, twisting his whiskey glass with his fingers, face showing a tinge of regret. “I’ve been guilty, saying it without consideration of your feelings. Although I do believe in what I said about you, but perhaps it’s better to keep it to myself instead.”

Jun stared at him silently. He wasn’t totally drunk yet but Sho’s words made his face hot. “Perhaps, you should.” Jun nodded. Inside, he wondered what was about him that made Sho think that way? He didn’t ask further though.

Sho smiled, tilting his head at Jun. “At least you must agree something with me.”

It made Jun frowned. “What is it?”

“You’re passionate,” Sho said, pointing his finger at Jun like he couldn’t accept any rebuttal. Jun chuckled amusingly, because it was true. That he could agree with, because if he were to describe himself in one word, it would be ‘passionate’.

Sho continued, “So passionate, be it in your professional work and personal view… And…” Sho’s eyes glinted. Jun found his breath stopped because he found himself anticipating the next word. Sho paused to stare at Jun for a moment, probably for an added effect, before he continued “And also… you have the most alluring eyes and the longest eyelashes I’ve ever seen in the thirty-five years of my life.”

Right after the words fell from Sho’s mouth, Jun blinked before he burst into a boisterous laugh. He felt stupid for wanting some smart words from the CEO he didn’t imagine that it would be the one that came out from Sho’s lips, it deviated totally from his original statement. That was the first time he ever heard such compliment and he found it so funny. Was this his way of flirting with him? That was unexpected and Jun wasn’t offended at all. Instead it amused him greatly.

“You’re exaggerating,” Jun wheezed while clutching his stomach. He never knew Sho had this adorable side. Their first drinking session had that formal atmosphere that Sho kept between them - perhaps due to his assistant being there too - but this time it felt like Sho had loosen up. Somehow it was charming and Jun wondered if this Sho was his real self?

Sho’s shoulders were shaking when Sho chuckled, seeing Jun so amused by his words. “It’s true,” Sho said, and this time with a deadpan expression, making Jun laughed harder than ever.

“I’ve heard people mocking my eyebrows… but my eyelashes…haha.” Jun doubled over with laughter.

“There’s nothing wrong with your eyebrows,” Sho added, his words muffled when he placed his glass back to his mouth to take a small sip. “As I said, you’re perfect.” Sho stopped before he said sheepishly, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t able to keep that thought to myself.” And then he gave an embarrass laugh.

Jun felt his cheeks get hotter. Hearing the word ‘perfect’ tumbling out from Sho’s shapely lips for the second time sent butterflies flying inside his stomach. Jun wiped the tears that leaked from too much laughter. Sho sat straighter, apparently not laughing anymore but kept an amuse expression on his face. He went back to sip on his drink, but his eyes didn’t stray away from Jun. Sho looked ready to change the subject in which Jun was grateful, although he seemed to give Jun time to calm down. Feeling sheepish and flushed from being stared at intensely, Jun grabbed his drink and downed half of it at once. He stared at his glass for a while, ignoring the burn on his throat, just to find something to do as he let Sho’s words sunk in. Sho thought he was perfect. Jun wondered why he didn’t refute him this time.

For a moment, they let quietness surrounded them as they spent the idle time looking everywhere but each other.

Breaking the silence, Sho suddenly leaned towards Jun. Jun felt his body heat and the smell of Sho’s cologne, spicy with a tinge of floral scent teasing his nose. The atmosphere changed drastically. Somehow Jun felt nervous all of the sudden.

“So, do you love this person?” Jun turned his head towards Sho in an instant. Sho looked like he wanted to be casual about it but the question sounded serious to Jun.

Three years ago, Jun might have hesitated but now he could give his answer honestly. “Yes, very much so.” Sho didn’t blink as he leaned back into his seat, seeming satisfied with Jun’s answer.

“And he loves you too?”

“Yes,” Jun answered because he believed so.

The alcohol made Jun’s tongue loose. It didn’t occur to him that it would be awkward to tell Sho about his Satoshi. For some reason Jun couldn’t compute, it felt normal to him instead. It helps that Sho looked interested in his love life. For the entirety of Jun’s love story - albeit the summarized version - Sho listened to him attentively.

“Does he still give you the freedom to see someone else?” By asking the question, Sho was confirming what Jun had told him. Jun could sense the direction Sho was going in.

Jun paused before he nodded. He never gave it much thought whether Satoshi had changed his mind or not but they had never discussed it again the first time they made the decision and Jun had never revisited the issue since. Really, if Satoshi had rescinded his approval, wouldn’t he have said something by now?

A shiver went through Jun when he felt the heat of Sho’s palm on his thigh. The heat travelled to his groin. At that time Jun ignored the fast rhythm of his heartbeat, thinking that the alcohol was to blame for his heart acting so strangely, as Sho brushed his lips against Jun’s.

That was their first kiss – if it was meant as a kiss since it was so brief.

Sho’s mouth curled into a soft smile as he moved away and Jun’s heart skipped a beat. For a moment, he thought about how that had never happened with someone other than Satoshi.

The stare Sho directed at him sent tingles to Jun’s body. It was like he was looking for any signs on Jun; whether an acceptance or a rejection. It was obvious that Sho wanted him and Jun couldn’t deny that he felt the same too.

Sho was looking for someone to fill his time, no string attached and he’d no problem with that. Jun wanted Sho to know his answer right away. He let his hand covered Sho’s hand that was still on his thigh. Then, he smiled.

Jun told himself that it’d be temporary and he leaned in as he let Sho kiss him again.


~


Heaven Cosmetics held a luxurious event in the grand ballroom of a multinational hotel and the media from all over the country came to cover the event. On Twitter, the hashtag #HeavenForAll was trending nationwide. Jun’s team members were ready for the grand finale and Jun was pretty nervous but excited at the same time as he threw instructions hastily to his subordinates even until the last minute.

Camera flashes filled the room as Jun’s team unveiled the gimmick they had been working on made a grand entry and awed the attendees.

The new product was launched successfully.

Observing the event from the periphery, after making sure everything was running smoothly, Jun gave himself a pat on his back. Sighing in relief at the success of the event, Jun felt his tension leave him and he waded through the crowd to the buffet table. He was famished since his nerves hadn’t allowed him to eat proper meal before the event.

Jun poked at his work colleague who was also on his team, Ninomiya or Nino as he would like to be known, who was taking too long looking at the buffet.

“Just take something and go.” Jun whispered at him, nudging him to move aside so Jun could pick something up.

“There’s no hamburger steak…” Nino said forlornly.

“If you want one, just go to the hotel restaurant and order one.”

“But then I’d have to pay for that!”

Jun chuckled because he already knew that Nino would say that. Putting down his own half-filled plate, he picked a clean one and filled it with slices of meat, potatoes and bread.

“There, I hope this is a decent replacement for your hamburger.” Nino made a face but he did take the plate away from Jun’s hand to go to the nearest empty table.

Jun continued picking up food, eyes unintentionally searching the ballroom for Sho. He found Sho being surrounded by the VIPs and some reporters and cameramen. Jun admitted that Sho looked so gorgeous in his Armani suit tonight. Not that he thought he wasn’t gorgeous before, but tonight he looked more dazzling, probably from the light and his newly-styled hair. And Jun felt himself being mesmerized. He shook his head when he realized he had been staring at Sho for a lot longer than he intended. Turning his attention to his food after being satisfied with what he had on the plate, he went to sit beside Nino at his table.

When he was walking back to the buffet table for a second serving, his boss noticed him and pulled him away from his food, towards where Sho was.

“Why are you hiding away? You should be here too.” Jun’s boss proceeded to introduce him to the Chairman of Heaven Cosmetics, Vice Presidents and Sho’s executives. Jun was embarrassed but proud at the same time when Sho without hesitation went on to sing Jun’s praises, making sure everyone knew that it was his leadership and his wonderful work with their marketing department that made the launching a success. When their eyes met for a while, Sho’s eyes were glinting. And when no one was watching, Sho whispered in Jun’s ear that he would be heading to the restroom in five minutes.

That was his cue.

Jun put down his empty champagne glass and walked towards the men’s restroom. He walked in with purpose, going straight to the empty sink beside the one Sho was using. Their eyes met in the mirror. Sho dried his hand with his handkerchief, putting it back inside his suit pocket and taking out a key card and holding it out to Jun discreetly. Jun pocketing it in his pants without even looking at the card.

Before Sho went out, he whispered to Jun, his hot breath against Jun’s ear making him shiver.

“3004.” Sho said.

It was the room number that they would be meeting. Jun felt his heart jump. They had a pre-agreed plan, a vague one but a plan for an intimate meeting nevertheless, even though both of them never said what it would be out loud. They just knew.

There was no message on his phone when Jun checked after he walked out the restroom, therefore he pocketed it again. His mind briefly went to wonder what Satoshi was doing right now. Satoshi was currently in the Maldives, joining his other colleague in a diving expedition. Jun had wanted to go too but his work had held him back. In fact, Jun seldom had the opportunity to join Satoshi since their schedules rarely matched. And now, without Satoshi in Japan, Jun would be spending his night with another man. The first man he’d been with after so many months of only having been exclusively with Satoshi. In fact, the last guy he remembered was like one and a half years ago. Jun was nervous.

Jun remembered Satoshi’s rules. He had never thought of wanting to break them before but now Jun wished that Satoshi hadn’t made him agree to the second one. Ever since he went out with Sho, the desire to introduce Sho to Satoshi had increased exponentially. He regretted that Satoshi was missing the chance to know how great Sho was. But he didn’t know how to break it to Satoshi, remembering on how adamantly Satoshi had not wanted to know with whom Jun spent his time without him. With how tolerant Satoshi was, he could be hard-headed sometimes.

Jun hadn’t intended that his contact with Sho would go on this long. It had been two months since the first time they kissed. It was funny – and it amazed Jun too how much patience they’d had - that up until now they hadn’t gone far from little kisses here and there, in the confines of the private room inside the bar Sho was a member of.

At first Jun thought that they’d have a few nights together and they’d go separate ways. He didn’t think their relationship would end up this serious even without sex involved. Jun could even think them as friends now. It never happened before with anyone else who showed interest on him sexually. Satoshi was his longest intimate relationship. Jun blamed Sho’s many charms that Jun couldn’t help wanting more of him.

It felt like they had this unspoken agreement that they wouldn’t sleep together until the launch was successful. Sho had deliberately making him wait. The more time they spent together, the more Jun fantasized about what it would be like having that man inside him.

And now that the job had finished, they would be spending a night together, and Jun was looking forward to it after various innuendos that Sho had been making intentionally or unintentionally throughout their meetings.

Perhaps, the waiting had been best because it had successfully built up Jun’s anticipation inside his stomach that any failure would not be tolerated. Not that he thought that Sho would disappoint him. Not that he thought Sho was too perfect either, that nothing could go wrong. Honestly, he was ready for anything. He even thought, that just seeing Sho’s naked butt might be enough to satisfy him.

Nino waved his goodbye and Jun lingered inside the ballroom, watching the guests thinning out. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Sho was shaking hands with the VIPs, and escorting his father, the Chairman of Heaven Cosmetics, to the waiting car. After he saw Sho was gone, Jun walked out of the near-empty ballroom to head towards the lifts to go to the room Sho had told him.

He pushed the button to the thirtieth floor. Jun looked at his reflection on the mirror-like wall that lined the inside of the lift. He brushed his stray hair back to its place and he corrected his tie. Looking again at his reflection, he thought about whether Sho would find him desirable. He really wanted to feel wanted by Sho.

Jun blinked. He felt his heart was suddenly beating loudly inside his chest. He was confused because he wasn’t sure why he was suddenly nervous. He’d have sex with Sho, a great one hopefully and after that they probably won’t be meeting again, since Jun had finished his job in Heaven.

And that’d be it. For unknown reasons, the thought made him sad.

All of the sudden, he inhaled sharply. He stared at his reflection in shock. He realized what he was just thinking. He didn’t want his relationship with Sho to end tonight, although the possibility was high. For the first time, he didn’t want this to be the same as the other men, who he’d had sex with once and then lost contact with right after.

When the door opened, Jun stepped outside and leaned his back against the wall. He needed to think clearly. Yes, he really wanted Sho, but did he really want to jeopardize his relationship with Satoshi that he had built for years for a man he had known for a few months?

Satoshi had tolerated him, trusted him, and loved him for so long. He didn’t want to be forced to choose between one or the other. He loved Satoshi with all his heart, but it would be hard to let Sho go with the way Jun was feeling right now. Somehow, it was confusing.

He sighed, pushing his back off the wall.

He decided that he would enjoy whatever happened tonight and if it meant that the thing he had with Sho would be over after this, then so be it. At least he wouldn’t spend his night by being lonely.

The door clicked open after Jun flashed the card over the lock. Looking around to find no one in the corridor, Jun entered the room with a greeting even though he knew Sho was not in the room yet. When he switched on the light, the scenery of a luxury suite greeted him, with a sofa, a 42 inches TV set perched on the wall, and a bottle of champagne with a plate of fresh fruit already on the table. He walked towards the door that lead to the bedroom and opened it. He chuckled when he saw red rose petals were spread on the king-sized bed. He didn’t expect Sho to be this romantic. Jun sighed. He would really miss Sho when it was over.

He saw Sho’s small suitcase near the wardrobe. Jun didn’t bring a change of clothes so he stripped out of his clothes to make sure they didn’t get dirtied, since he would need them again later, after they’d finished with each other. Jun left the folded clothes on a chair inside the room and headed to the shower.

After drying himself, he wrapped his body with the hotel’s yukata. He didn’t know what to do yet so he flicked on the TV and sat on the luxurious sofa. He didn’t want to open the champagne without Sho but he did pop a grape inside his mouth and moaned at its sweetness.

Jun turned his head as the door opened and then closed in a muted click. Sho gave Jun a wide smile as Sho’s eyes glinted in delight, seeing Jun already inside the room, ready for him. Jun felt excitement building in his stomach as he saw how hungrily Sho looked at him. Sho stepped inside, changing his shoes to the hotel slippers as Jun got up to walk towards him.

Jun helped Sho got out of his suit and bowtie, taking his time to hang it on the coat hanger strategically placed beside the door. “Tired?” Jun asked. Sho shook his head, his hand unbuttoning the top few buttons on his shirt. He walked towards the sofa and sitting on it. Jun followed him. Sho reached for the champagne and opened it, pouring it into the glasses. He motioned Jun to sit beside him and held out one glass for Jun to take.

“To our success.”

Jun echoed the toast.

They sipped the champagne, savouring the taste inside their mouth. Sho leaned back on the sofa in a content sigh.

“You know, my father really likes you a lot.”

“Really?” Jun was genuinely surprised. He had only met Sho’s father once, just earlier.

“Yeah, he told me that he wanted to hire you as the team leader in our Marketing team.”

Jun blushed. He never imagined he could capture the Chairman’s attention that fast. Sho must have had something to do with it, he thought.

“Well, if the pay is right, I might take up the offer.”

“You’re serious?” Sho stared at him, a hopeful look on his face. Jun almost felt bad because he was about to turn him down.

“No.” Sho’s face fell with Jun’s answer. He poked Sho’s side when Sho appeared to be sulking. “I like my current company, they treat me well, why would I go to another one?”

“I like to think that my company is better…” Sho added, his lips puckering in a pout.

Jun smiled looking at Sho’s pouting face. Jun poked him again, Sho squirmed and Jun gave a light peck on his lips.

“I don’t deny that. Everything's better with you there,” Jun replied, honestly. Working in Heaven might be great, he had seen their working condition and it was to Jun’s liking but he needed more convincing to start a career in a new workplace. He liked challenges but he could find all that in his current agency without the need to look elsewhere. Sho’s proposition was tempting though.

Nevertheless, Jun’s remark was enough to make Sho’s smile returned on his face. Jun shifted his whole body to face Sho, his knees underneath him as he wounded his arms around Sho’s neck, careful not to spill his champagne on him. Sho turned his body towards Jun, facing him.

“Perhaps one day you might reconsider?” Sho asked him, not letting the topic go away.

Jun quirked his eyebrows, tilting his head. For a moment, he wondered why Sho kept asking. Did he impress him that much? He couldn’t deny that that thought brought an elation inside him and he felt proud of himself for making such an impact in Sho’s company. And yet, it could be also that Sho wanting it to happen due to their current affair and the thought didn’t sit right with Jun. If he were to be hired by a company, it should be because of his own ability, not because he was fucking the CEO of the said company.

“Hmm, perhaps,” Jun replied noncommittally, giving Sho a shrug. He shifted forward so he was nearly straddling Sho, trying to distract him. Jun’s action made Sho shifted himself to accommodate Jun and perhaps Jun’s attempt of distraction was a success since Sho’s pupils were dilating, showing his interest.

Then, Sho suddenly laughed startling Jun. In Jun’s confusion, Sho suddenly said, “As expected from you.”

“Huh?” Jun was baffled. He stared at Sho, trying to gauge his meaning.

“As expected, you’re a loyal person,” Sho clarified, his eyes were staring at him.

Jun nearly spluttered. If he were that loyal he won’t be here planning to spend the rest of the night inside another man’s arm. Jun laughed a moment later and Sho laughed harder, seemingly seeing the irony of it all.

“So, your boyfriend doesn’t mind you’re not sleeping with him tonight?” Sho asked after both of them had calmed down. Jun tilted his head, not amused. It was such an unnecessary question to which Sho already knew the answer since they had talked about it before. They knew, if Satoshi were here in Tokyo, he wouldn’t be sitting with Sho, alone inside a locked hotel room right at this moment.

Even so, Jun wanted to clarify. “Satoshi-kun is oversea right now.” Perhaps Jun was showing something in his face when Sho suddenly leaned forward to kiss him.

“You’re missing him.” It was a statement that Jun agreed wholeheartedly. It was great but weird at the same time having a temporary lover who knew full well about Jun being in love with his boyfriend and accepting that. Jun would definitely miss Sho if this ended.

“Don’t be sad, I’m here to fill your void.” Sho said deadpan, making Jun laugh because it sounded cheesy but funny at the same time, especially with the way Sho said it.

“You sure are.” Well it didn’t hurt to play along, Jun thought.

Both of them, almost at the same time put away their glasses they were holding to safety. The champagne wasn’t yet finished but there was more pressing matter for them to do right now rather than thinking about wastage of fine drink.

Sho leaned in for more kisses and Jun met him halfway. Almost immediately Jun noticed how different the kisses were than before. They were more passionate and demanding. Sho coaxed open Jun’s mouth to roam inside the hot cavity and Jun basked in the wet tongue battling with his, demanding him to submit.

Jun felt his yukata loosen until it slipped off his left shoulder. Sho’s mouth went to attack the bare skin in an instant.

“You smell so good,” Sho murmured in between the kisses. Jun chuckled, his Adam’s apple vibrating and Sho nipped at it.

“I smell like the hotel’s shampoo.”

“An expensive hotel shampoo,” Sho quipped making Jun chuckle more and it made Sho detached his lips from him just to watch him laugh.

“Stop fooling around, just kiss me,” Jun chastised him.

“Let see how demanding you are when I’m through with you.” It seemed like a serious challenge but Sho gave a slight chuckle before he pushed Jun back on the sofa and attacked Jun’s mouth with more vigour.

They were lost in the making out, and to Jun time didn’t matter at all when Sho gave him such pleasure just by kissing him. Jun didn’t even complain that they were taking things too slowly. He had waited long enough so he didn’t really mind sparing more patience towards Sho’s slow but delightful ministration. They got the whole night to themselves. Tomorrow was their off day and Jun could sleep in. And also, for some reasons he wanted to remember Sho’s lips, the shape and the feelings when those plump and hot lips touched his skin. And the way Sho was holding him made him felt protected.

Thus, when Sho suddenly pulled away, Jun was disappointed and for a short moment he was confused. He thought that he did something wrong. But when Sho said, “Wait for me on the bed, I’m going to take a shower,” Jun felt relieved that Sho didn’t intend to stop after all. And when enough oxygen had filled his brain again so he could think more clearly, the thought of what would happen after this made him giddy. His cock was already straining inside the yukata.

Sho stood not far away from the sofa, where Jun was, loosening and unbuttoning his shirt, all the while staring at Jun’s thighs, the yukata was open enough to show plenty of skin for him to ogle.

With Sho showing so much interest in his partial nakedness, Jun decided that it was time to bare all. Thus, he sat up and shed his yukata, making a show, leaving it on the sofa while he walked towards the bedroom in his all naked glory. He felt Sho’s eyes burning on him as he intentionally wiggled his hips seductively. He saw how Sho was licking his lips seeing his erect cock and he liked how Sho’s eyes lingered there before Jun turned away depriving him of that.

Jun lay on his side buck naked in the centre of the bed, head propped on his elbow, eyes locked on the bathroom’s door. The flower petals were sticking onto his body but he didn’t really mind that. He picked one petal off the bed and played with it, as the way to pass the time.

Sho was taking a long time to shower, he said to himself, feeling how his cock went flaccid after waiting too long. The rose petal already crumpled in his hand. He was restraining himself from sliding his hand down to his cock because Sho had reminded him -- or was it an order? -- when he was on his way to the bathroom not to start anything without him.

Sho finally came out of the bathroom.

“You took too long,” Jun complained. He fell silent as Sho climbed onto the edge of the bed, to put his finger on Jun’s lips to silence Jun.

“I asked you to wait, didn’t I?” Jun blinked. “Yes or no?” The intensity on Sho’s eyes left Jun speechless.

“Yes,” Jun answered, nearly stumbled on his word when Sho asked the second time. Sho was ordering him and Jun was now convinced that was what Sho did. Jun was still wrapping his head around what had happened, on why when Sho was ordering him, a sense of excitement creeped on him, prickling of heat teased his stomach he felt excited and hot at the same time. For a very self-assured person like him, Jun didn’t know that he would listen to anyone’s order outside work. But he was okay with it coming from Sho; in fact, he would like to see more of Sho showing his dominant side because he found it to be so arousing.

Sho moved away from the bed to hang his towel. Jun ran his eyes all over Sho. This was the first time he had seen Sho fully naked and he really liked what he saw. Sho’s body was well-built, even with the sloping shoulders; they fit him so flawlessly that Jun thought Sho would look weird without them. Sho looked like he had been working on the muscles on his arms and abs as they looked great on him. While Satoshi’s muscles were leaner, Sho’s were on the bulkier side that worked so well with his frame. And Sho’s butt was all he imagined it to be; perky and full Jun wanted to run his hands on it. And then, his eyes fell on Sho’s member, and Jun’s cock twitched.

Sho was already half hard. Jun found himself stretching his hand towards Sho to make Sho come to the bed instantly. But Sho was just looking at him, smirking. “Learn to be patient, baby.” Jun went still. He didn’t know why but he liked the pet name Sho called him, perhaps it was because the way Sho said it. Deep and gravelly.

“But I want you here…” Jun sulked. Despite what Sho told him, Jun felt impatient. Sho was moving to stand opposite Jun, watching him. He didn’t make a move to climb the bed to be with Jun.

“Sho-san~...” Jun called him in a seductive tone. He couldn’t understand why Sho isn’t joining him yet?

Sho put the finger to his own lips and it shut Jun up, looking at the obvious gesture. Sho wanted him to stop whining. Sho threw Jun a small bottle of lube and Jun caught it, looking at it with a questioning face. It was a rose-scented lubricant.

“Touch yourself.” Sho suddenly ordered.

“What?” Jun asked because the order was unexpected.

“You heard me.” Sho’s eyes were fixed on Jun as he gave the order.

Jun gave him a confused frown but he shifted his body so he lay flat on the bed, the petals moved with him too with more of them sticking on Jun’s body. Jun removed a few that were sticking on his thighs.

“Don’t removed them.” By them, Jun understood that Sho meant the rose petals. Still feeling confused, Jun let them stick around. Did Sho has some sort of flower fetish? Even by thinking that, it nearly made Jun laugh but he didn’t because Sho might not be amused.

“Go on.”

Slowly, he opened his legs, showing his bottom to Sho in full view. Heat creeped up on his cheeks due to embarrassment, making him blush. He guided his lube-coated hand to his cock, feeling it getting heavier inside his fingers by the minutes.

At first, he went slow, trying to work his body up. When he felt that his body went hotter and his breaths get heavier, he worked his hand faster. His other hand was gripping the bedsheet tightly. The pre-come was flowing out his cock and Jun used it for more lubrication. The scent of rose added to the mix of sweat making the whole room heavy with the newly-developed odour. Colourful words were spilled from his open mouth. His breath hitched when he felt familiar pressure was building in his stomach. He was getting closer. Jun tried his best to keep his eyes open to see how Sho watched him.

Sho’s eyes that looked so dark with lust were locked on him intensely like he wanted to eat him. Sho’s chest was moving heavily. With the way Sho looked at him he felt proud that he was doing a good job and that Sho was enjoying the show. It spurred Jun on. He brought his other hand down to massage his balls to add to the sensation.

Jun’s cock twitched inside his hand and the come he released was spurting on his stomach, some of them splattered onto the rose petals that was sticking on the side of his body. He was heaving heavily as he let the orgasm wash over his body. Jun’s whole body slumped tiredly on the bed, feeling pleased with himself.

He felt a dip of the bed in front of him, and suddenly Sho was looming over him.

“You’re beautiful like this,” Sho whispered hoarsely.

“I’m glad you like it,” Jun managed to say despite still being out of breath.

Sho plucked a petal that had been tainted with Jun’s come and brought it to his face. Sho closed his eyes as he inhaled the scent. Watching it, Jun felt himself blushing. Sho definitely had a thing with rose petals, or flower in general.

Putting the petal aside, Sho climbed the bed properly and he hovered directly on Jun’s body. Suddenly, Jun’s stomach felt cold. Sho was using wet wipe to clean the come on him. It was done so quickly and Sho moved away for a moment to toss the spoilt wipe away. Then he came back immediately, catching Jun’s mouth in an intense kiss which left Jun breathless. Jun arched his body as he let Sho’s hands roamed all over his body, whining quietly as Sho took a handful of his hair and tugged it back, causing mild pain to surge to his head. Jun couldn’t complain about it because he was lost in Sho’s kisses that made him lightheaded.

Opening his eyes slightly, Jun saw Sho’s erect cock was pressing on his stomach, and more rose petals surrounding his body. When did it happened? Jun didn’t have time to search the answer when he suddenly felt the loss. He nearly whined when Sho moved away to fetch the discarded lube and a condom.

“On your hands and knees,” Sho gave an instruction that Jun was so eager to follow.

He was expecting Sho to immediately prepare him, but to his disappointment it didn’t happen, not yet.

Sho chose to spent time on Jun’s back, making feather-like touches on his spine. Jun’s body shivered. A petal fell onto the bed and Jun suddenly realized that Sho wasn’t using his fingers to touch him, but the rose petals. It might be creepy to him if it wasn’t because he wanted Sho so much right now, but the touches felt good too, especially when it ran alongside his spine and moved lower and lower.

Jun moaned as he felt a tickle on his opening. Then the petal was replaced by Sho’s hand.

“Sho~,” Jun moaned Sho’s name when Sho didn’t move further, the unmoving thumb felt hot on the rim. He wanted Sho right now.

“Hush. Be patient.” Jun could whine more to make Sho hurry up but he shut up at Sho’s commanding tone.

Sho’s finger moved away from his hole, abandoning it to focus on somewhere else. Jun felt like Sho was taking too much time with his behind, caressing both cheeks and balls and running a hand over Jun’s spine. Jun felt himself blushing at the attention. Suddenly, he shivered when he felt a warm breeze blew on the surface of his hole. What the fuck? Sho was really testing his patience.

“Sho-san, I can’t wai-“

“I told you to be patient, didn’t I? Do you want to be punished?” No, Jun didn’t want to, but for a moment Jun also wondered about the punishment that Sho would give if he disobeyed. Jun shook his head, getting rid of the strange thought about punishment.

Then suddenly Jun yelped when Sho bit one of his butt cheeks. “Sho, what?” He heard Sho chuckling.

“I’m sure you want to do this to me too.”

“I don-“ Jun tried to deny but he was cut swiftly.

“Are you sure?” Sho asked, smug lacing his voice.

Jun didn’t have a comeback. His face was impossibly redder than he was currently and he lowered his face trying hide his embarrassment. Indeed, Sho had the right package and he was aware about it. Sho had noticed him ogling Sho’s butt and he couldn’t blame himself for being too obvious about it. Now that Sho knew about his liking, it would be easier for him to grope his ass later as a payback.

Sho continued to play with Jun’s butt. After additional foreplay which involved kisses on every surface of Jun’s skin that was on his back, Jun’s body was too worked up and he was too impatient to receive Sho. His pre-come was already dripping onto the sheet. Jun nearly gave a victorious fist pump when eventually Sho breached his hole with his lubed fingers to prepare him. He let out various lewd sounds that he was sure Sho would like to hear. Then he heard the condom wrapper being opened and Jun was ready to welcome Sho’s cock inside of him.

Sho’s cock easily slid inside making Jun bask in the fullness Sho gave him. Sho moved without preamble making Jun catch up to him. As they were both lost in their pleasure, Jun didn’t realize that Sho tugged his hair back a little harder than before, jerking his head back and turn to the side as Sho manhandled his face to catch his mouth for a kiss.

Before long the thrusts lost their rhythm as Sho continuously hit Jun’s prostate that made Jun gasped. Just as Sho touched Jun’s cock that had come back alive due to their activity, Jun released his come in an instant. Sho kept thrusting inside Jun as Jun felt his body sagging and shuddered in the wave of orgasm. Sho groaned when Jun’s inside was squeezing Sho’s cock, and Sho released his come inside the condom not long after that. Both fell onto the bed in a heap.

It was minutes later before Jun could think coherently, when Sho wasn’t crushing him anymore and slipped out of him, “That was…”

Sho turned his face towards him for a kiss. Jun could feel the smugness in Sho’s kiss. “That was what?”

Jun grinned at him. “Intense?”

“Did you like it?” This time Sho looked like he genuinely wanted to know.

“I did. I really liked it.”

There was relief on Sho’s face before Sho kissed him again. “Great to know,” Sho mumbled in between the kisses.

They felt sticky, their come beginning to dry, and they moved to the bathroom together. They stayed in the warm bath with Jun leaning his back on Sho’s sturdy chest, continuing to finish the bottle of champagne they left before. They kissed in between the sips.

“What happens after this?” Jun asked, bracing for the answer. He found himself feeling afraid that Sho would decide to end their relationship tonight since Jun’s job at Sho’s company had finished and they wouldn’t have any excuse to meet openly again. Jun’s job was to stay until the product launch and since it had launched successfully, they had no reason to meet again, unless Sho wanted it.

“What do you want then?” Sho’s mouth roamed on Jun’s neck, nibbling the white skin.

Jun hesitated. He knew what he wanted but would it be wrong of him to want more? Would it be wrong for him to choose not to stop?

“I feel like I want us to continue seeing each other after this,” he blurted, his lips moving faster than his brain.

“Are you sure?” Sho asked, giving a brief kiss on Jun’s cheek, his hand wrapped itself on Jun’s torso.

“Yes, why?” Jun turned his head to look at Sho because Sho’s tone was a little strange to him. Would Sho want more? Or was he the only one who shameless enough to want it? Jun looked troubled but Sho kissed it away.

“Because I want you to understand what you’re getting yourself into if you to continue be with me.”

Intrigued, Jun turned around completely. “What do you mean?”

When Sho whispered to him, his eyes went wide. Jun felt his whole body shudder in excitement and fear. Excited that Sho wanted to practice Dom/Sub on him –the only thing he knew about it was what he’d seen before in some porn - but fear that he wasn’t up to it. And what would Satoshi say if he knew?

“I don’t want to force you but are you up to it?”

When Jun gaze on Sho’s hopeful eyes, he found himself agreeing to it.

The next day when Jun and Sho headed in different directions, Jun wondered what he had gotten himself into.


~


Jun continued living his life as usual albeit his mind being somewhat preoccupied with what Sho told him when things were too calm. Satoshi wouldn’t be coming back for another week and Jun started to feel lonely again. But he couldn’t see Sho either since he was on his business trip to Sapporo.

He was tempted to go out with his friends, Shun and Toma, when he felt his phone vibrate with a message. It was from Sho, inviting him to his home. Jun didn’t realize his fingers were trembling until he pocketed his phone back inside his pants.

Three days later, Jun stepped inside Sho’s apartment for the first time.

Sho lived in an expensive apartment complex twice the size of the apartment Jun shared with Ohno. The interior was modern in design, stylish, with grey and white gradient finishing on the wall and hardwood flooring. In front of him, there was a large living room with a bar at the corner. The leather sofa set was a deep shade of red that Jun liked the first time he saw it. Fresh flowers were beautifully arranged in a vase at a corner. There was a reading area with a comfortable one-person couch and rows of books filling up the entire wall. Jun ran his hands along the books, intrigued with Sho’s massive collection. Jun wasn’t expecting anything less from Sho.

“You like reading?” Sho asked.

“I do,” Jun replied, immediately receiving an offer from Sho to take home some of the titles Jun was interested in reading. Jun appreciated it a lot as he made a mental note about the books he would like to borrow.

They had a decent dinner and afterwards, Sho walked Jun around his apartment for a home tour. Jun found that besides the master bedroom, the apartment held other rooms; one Sho used as his home theatre, and the other one was what Sho called the special room. In that room, Sho showed Jun his toy collection. They were kept organized inside the custom-built drawers.

“I don’t practice hardcore stuff, if you want to know.”

“Good to know that.” Jun’s mouth felt drier than he liked as his eyes ran over the items one by one.

“Are you afraid?” Sho came closer, his hand on the small of Jun’s back, rubbing soothingly. Jun fell silent, feeling his tension slip away with the comfort of Sho’s hand, before he found himself shaking his head.

“Not, really. If it’s with you.” It was the truth. Jun had the confidence that if it was with Sho, it would be all right.

They shared a long kiss before Sho seated him on his couch. There, Sho patiently explained what he usually did with each item and what the pleasure he got from them, and also the risks and the need for the safe word. Jun appreciated how honest and patient Sho was in answering every doubt and question Jun had.


~


Jun picked Satoshi up at the airport. They went to dinner and talked about random things on their bed right after that. When Satoshi was sleeping, Jun caressed his face, clicking his tongue when he observed Satoshi’s darker complexion. His boyfriend must have forgotten his sunblock again because his skin appeared burnt. He gave the skin a kiss, reminding himself to buy new lotion and help Satoshi apply it to help ease the sunburn.

What would Satoshi do without him? Jun chuckled inside his head when he found he couldn’t imagine his life without Satoshi either.

It was only natural that thoughts about Sho wasn’t in Jun’s head as he spent the next few days with his beloved boyfriend, sometimes forcing Satoshi to follow him shopping – something to amuse himself and Satoshi even when Satoshi hated it. Jun made Satoshi carry all the bags and then he repaid Satoshi’s kindness by letting his boyfriend bang him inside the shower stall after they got home.

Jun was happy.

Sho didn’t contact him again until a week later. Jun was having dinner with Satoshi when he received the message.

Come to my house this Saturday at 3.00 P.M. Bring your clothes.

The message made Jun’s heart beat faster. He was feeling the excitement.

However, the excitement deflated in an instant when he remembered that Satoshi was here. He felt horror within himself. How could he feel excited about the thought of spending a night with another man when he was with his boyfriend? That was unthinkable.

But then, somewhere deep within his heart, he didn’t want to disappoint Sho either.

Feeling rather uncomfortable and slightly guilty, Jun’s eyes flitted to Satoshi. He bit his lower lip. Sho wanted to be with him this weekend but he wasn’t sure if he could come. If Satoshi was here he didn’t want to be with anyone else. He wasn’t supposed to, anyway.

And yet, there wasn’t any harm in asking Satoshi, to clarify their plan for the weekend. At least, he could tell Sho the reasons clearly if he were to reject Sho’s invitation. Jun was contemplating how to ask Satoshi about his schedule but before he could ask, it was Satoshi who told him.

“I’m going to Australia.” How convenient. He found himself disappointed that Satoshi wouldn’t be here to spend more time together but it was more shocking to find a certain elation inside his heart that wasn’t supposed to be there.

He frowned, looking at his food without actually seeing his food. Jun didn’t understand these conflicting feelings.

Probably, Satoshi took his expression as sadness when he called out Jun’s name softly. Jun cleared his throat.

“For how long?” Jun asked, eyes still locked on his food.

“Three weeks. Starting this weekend.”

Jun’s heart dropped and he looked up at Satoshi in shock. The news made him so upset. Usually he didn’t have any problem with Satoshi going away for more than a week but this time he took issue of it.

Yes, he indeed wanted a free weekend but not for three weekends in a row.

“It’s going to be our anniversary in three weeks,” Jun blurted out in monotone. Jun was sure Satoshi didn’t remember it that was why he needed to remind him. It wasn’t Satoshi’s birthday in three weeks – in which when they had their first date – but it was going to be the anniversary of them declaring their love to each other and also, it was the same date of them moving in together. It was an important date for Jun, and for Satoshi too supposedly.

Satoshi went silent as he stared at his half-empty rice curry plate. “I’m sorry, but I think I have to miss it.” Satoshi’s face looked guilty and apologetic as he looked at Jun.

Jun’s shoulders tensed. He suddenly felt a tendril of anger inside him. “Last year it was the same. At least pretend that you remember the date!” Jun was so annoyed he didn’t realized he was raising his voice towards Satoshi.

Both of them fell silent after Jun’s sudden outburst. It was rare for them to have a fight. Jun was used to Satoshi forgetting things, especially dates. His boyfriend had once forgotten about Jun’s birthday but Jun forgave him when Satoshi splurged a quite an amount for Jun’s jewellery and sat through a Philharmonic concert just for Jun, but Jun didn’t know why he was so irritated this time.

Perhaps it was due to his guilt, him being angry at himself for thinking of another man. Perhaps, he wanted to reconfirm that the love he felt for Satoshi would never dwindle away so he needed to spend time with Satoshi, at least on that day.

And also, they had the ritual of rekindling their love vows at the place they did it the first time, on a beach. At least last year, Satoshi managed to surprise him at the last minute since his work was in Japan, but Jun had the feeling that they wouldn’t have the opportunity this year. And it made him unhappier.

Satoshi got up and walked towards Jun. Jun lifted his head to find Satoshi was holding out his arms for him. Jun leaned on him, letting himself into his boyfriend’s arms and rest his head on Satoshi’s stomach. The smell of the freshly laundered T-shirt on Satoshi calmed Jun.

Satoshi caressed his head. “I’m sorry. It was my fault that I didn’t check the date properly. But I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” Satoshi bent down to leave a kiss on Jun’s head.

“You promise?” Jun asked in a small voice. He already felt his anger went away in a puff.

“I do. Don’t be sad…” Satoshi added. “You can go out with one of your friends if you want? I’ll call you and we can talk on the phone?” he offered.

Jun perked up.

“You’re sure that I can be with a friend on that day?” Jun emphasized the word to make sure Satoshi caught its meaning. Surely, Satoshi would like for Jun to be available only to him that day? For Jun to have the time to talk to Satoshi no matter what time it would be? It was just too bad that they wouldn’t be together physically.

Satoshi went silent for a brief moment, and Jun nearly thought that he had misinterpreted Satoshi’s suggestion.

“Yes, you can spend your time with a friend,” Satoshi told him quietly.

They stared at each other in an unspoken agreement. Jun’s heart beat louder. He might as well ask about this weekend.

“Then can I spend this weekend with a friend too?” Jun asked, eyes looking up at Satoshi to seek a confirmation.

Satoshi nodded. Jun ignored the feeling of elation inside him as he got up and gave Satoshi a hard kiss.

“I’m going to miss you…” Jun kissed him again, hands clinging to Satoshi’s small but strong frame. It was still true that he would be missing Satoshi like crazy. Jun felt glad and was certain that their feelings wouldn’t change.

“Me too… Me too…” Satoshi said. Jun hadn’t doubted this either.

They continued kissing until the rest of their food was forgotten and then proceeded to spend the rest of the night tangled on their bed.

Somehow Jun felt relieved that they at least talked about it even if it was vaguely. In his mind only a person came up. Whether he would be spending time with Sho on the anniversary date, he didn’t know yet since Sho was a busy man himself and he couldn’t possibly ask Sho to open his schedule for him. But at least he had been given permission to spend his time with someone, should Jun felt like it.

At that moment, the feeling of intense love for Satoshi coursed inside his whole being. Satoshi had indulged his whim for so long, accepting him for who he was. He was thankful that it was Satoshi he was with now because where else he could find such a lovely and kind person and someone who loved him unconditionally? He didn’t think even Aiba, the kindest man he ever knew – after Satoshi of course – could even accept their kind of arrangement.

Jun gave his all in their love-making as Satoshi thrusted his member inside him in a calculated rhythm. He made sure that Satoshi felt his love tonight and also that they filled each other well enough to last the whole duration they would be spending apart.

The clock was pointing to 2 o’clock in the morning but Jun’s eyes were still open. In the dim bedroom with an orange light that came from one of the small bed lamps, Jun caressed Satoshi’s sleeping face, imprinting his face inside his mind. For a moment, his mind flew towards Sho.

Jun wasn’t sure what he felt towards the man. To say that their current relationship was just a casual fling was no longer true. Their upcoming meetings might revolve around sex but to Jun it felt like a commitment.

He felt comfortable with Sho, just as he was comfortable with Satoshi. While he had known Satoshi for a long time and he knew almost all his strengths and weaknesses, Jun was intrigued by how fascinating Sho was, at how smart and successful he was, how he had surprised Jun with his inclination, his passion for his toy collection. But he felt how at the same time Sho would wear his heart on his sleeve, like in their drinking sessions where they had become tipsy and Sho, intentionally or unintentionally showing his dorky side and lame pickup lines. It couldn’t be helped that Sho was a very handsome man too.

The urge to talk about Sho with Satoshi came to Jun. He really wanted them to meet or talk, even for a brief moment. The thing was, he just wasn’t sure whether Satoshi wanted to know about Sho. Satoshi had ignored anything about his past partners, and since then Satoshi had told him definitely that he wasn’t interested in knowing if Jun was going to be with another partner at all. The farther Jun could reach was giving him hints, to gauge his response like how he did before.

Furthermore, he didn’t know how long this thing with Sho would last anyway. Thinking that, Jun’s stomach lurched uncomfortably like the thought wasn’t pleasant at all.

With one last kiss on Satoshi’s lips, Jun buried his head on Satoshi’s neck, inhaling his sweet baby scent as he drifted to sleep.


~